


Cody Fucking Dies

by shiikitz



Category: End Roll (Video Game)
Genre: Chatting & Messaging, Crack, F/F, Group chat, Texting, but that doesnt matter, chatfic, cody and gardenia are gay, gardenia and russell use kaomojis 24/7, i love dogma, like really gay, vaguely set in the real world because of references
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2019-09-27
Updated: 2020-06-24
Packaged: 2020-10-25 02:43:50
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 6
Words: 2,051
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/20716784
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/shiikitz/pseuds/shiikitz
Summary: The End Roll chatfic that no-one wanted.Rated T+ for language.





	1. Chapter 1

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> tsun: well fuck you too
> 
> Dogma:

**Russell added Tabasa, Gardenia, Cody, and 11 others to the group chat.**

**Russell named the group chat Me And the Boys Suffering**

**Tabasa: **whats this?

**Cody: **here we go again

**Gardenia**: Oh!! A group chat!!

**Gardenia: **Can we change our names?

**Russell: **¯\\_(ツ)_/¯

**Gardenia: **I have the perfect idea!

**Gardenia's name changed to uwu.**

**Russel's name c** **hanged to -w-.**

**uwu: **Now we match!

**Tabasa: **aww that's cute

**uwu: **I know, right??

**Cody's name changed to tsun.**

**tsun: **excuse me what the fuck

**Dogma: **It's fitting.

**tsun: **well fuck you too

**Dogma:**

**uwu: **Cody!! That's mean!

**tsun: **lmao u think i care

**uwu: **༼ಢ_ಢ༽

**tsun: **no wait im sorry

**uwu: **(≧▽≦)

**Tabasa: **sorry to interupt but guys

**Tabasa: **russell hasnt talked at all

**-w-: **¯\\_(ツ)_/¯


	2. Chapter 2

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> shitty twin: brocon
> 
> big brother: n-no??
> 
> Jesus Man: Why is that a question?
> 
> shitty twin: ;)
> 
> big brother: nO

**Me and The Boys Suffering**

**tsun: **alright

**tsun: **fess up, who did it

**Tabasa: **???

**uwu: **Cody?

**tsun: **was it you

**uwu: **I don't know what you're talking about?

**Tabasa: **me neither, i just got back from the forest

**tsun: **_@_everyone who did it

**Kantera****: **Oh? Has someone upset you?

**tsun: **of fucking course

**tsun: **what kind of person breaks into a girl's room

**uwu: **Oh no!

**uwu: **Why would someone do that?

**Dogma: **Is that really what you're upset over?

**tsun: **yes

**Tabasa: **you don't understand, it's a violation of a womans privacy

**Tabasa: **they're really sensitive about that stuff

**Kantera: **Are they now? I had no idea

**Dogma: **Just let it go, Cody.

**Dogma: **It's not that big a deal.

**Tabasa: **yea

**Tabasa: **it's honestly kinda freaky

**tsun: **fuck off

**Informant: **i wonder where gardenia went?

**Informant: **maybe she did it...

**Kantera: **Oh my

**tsun: **gardenia would never do that!

**Informant: **are you sure? shes awfully suspicious, you know~

**tsun: **fuck you, shitty twin

**Informant: **;)

**tsun: **no

**tsun: **i hate you

**Informant: **oh, i know

**Informant: **:)

**Tabasa: **i have never been more scared in my life

**tsun: **petition to kick the informant

**Dogma: **Sadly, I have to decline.

**Dogma: **After all, Russel made this group chat to strengthen our bonds with each other.

**Informant: **who knew jesus man would come to my rescue

**Dogma****: **J-Jesus man?

**Informant: **jesus man.

**Dogma's name changed to Jesus Man.**

**Informant's name changed to shitty twin.**

**Tabasa's name changed to big brother.**

**-w-****: **( ´ ▽ ` )

** big brother: **

** big brother: ** aaa russell!!

** shitty twin: ** brocon

** big brother: ** n-no??

** Jesus Man: ** Why is that a question?

** shitty twin: ** ;)

** big brother: ** nO


	3. Chapter 3

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> big brother: you made gardenia sad
> 
> tsun: who the fuck
> 
> big brother : HoLY SHItjfjHFJ
> 
> shitty twin: a man has fallen into the river at lego city

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> It is exactly 00:00.  
Good night.

** Me and The Boys Suffering **

** uwu sent an image. **

** uwu sent an image. **

** uwu sent an image. **

**uwu**:  Guys!! Look at how cute Cody is!!

**Jesus Man**:  Cody? Cute? You must be mistaken.

**uwu**: ಢ ಢ

**big brother**:  look what you did dogma

**big brother**: you made gardenia sad

**tsun**: who the fuck

**big brother** : HoLY SHItjfjHFJ

**shitty twin**: a man has fallen into the river at lego city

**tsun**: Dogma.

**big brother**: i'm crying what the hell

**shitty twin**: uh oh, capital letter

**Jesus Man**: Yes, Cody?

**tsun**: Apologise.

**big brother**: i am quaking in my boots

**Jesus Man**: I did nothing wrong. I was simply telling the truth.

**Jesus Man**: I don't care if Gardenia finds you cute, but I don't. I mean, have you looked in a mirror recently?

**tsun**:

**big brother**: dogma i cant im seriously dying here ple ase

**Jesus Man**: What?

**shitty twin**: lmao cody got roasted

**tsun**: i am heading to your location right now

**tsun**: prepare yourself

**big brother**: KFJSJJFJS

**big brother**: @Kantera @Kantera @Kantera

**Kantera**: Yes?

**big brother**: dogmas gonna fuckign die

**Kantera**: Oh

**shitty twin**: rip in pieces

**Kantera**: That's quite unfortunate, now isn't it?

**uwu**: Σ （ ºд º/// ）

**uwu**: Cody, please don't hurt your brother! I'm sure he didn't mean anything by it!!

**tsun**: fine.

**Jesus Man**: Thank the Goddess.

**shitty twin**: idk i think u should be thanking the little lady

**uwu**: ( ㆁ ᴗ ㆁ✿ )

**Jesus Man**: Thank you.

**uwu**: ( 。⌒ ∇ ⌒ ) 。

**uwu sent an image.**

**uwu**: Cody  💖💕💘💝❤️💕💖💘💖

**tsun**: o/mg

**uwu**: (´ ▽ ｀ ). 。ｏ ♡ 

**big brother**: cute

**shitty twin**: haha pedo

**big brother**: wait no-

**Kantera**:  Oh my

**big brother**:  no that's not it

**big brother**: what the hell informant

**shitty twin**: ;)

**big brother**: i'm crying i hate you

**shitty twin**:  i take that as a compliment

**Jesus Man**: I regret advocating for the Informant.

**big brother**:  KjHFJJD

**big brother**:  WHAT A YIKES

**shitty twin**:  killing myself rn

**Jesus Man**:  Have fun.

**big brother**: AHGBBDJF

**shitty twin**: i will, thanks


	4. Chapter 4

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> shitty twin: hm. incest and pedophilia.
> 
> big brother: stOP i SWEAR

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Me, updating twice in one day after not upating for months? Yeah.

** Me and The Boys Suffering **

**big brother**: i am sitting in a mcdonald's parking lot eating a happy meal

**big brother**: i'm not sure how i feel about life rn

**Jesus Man**: Is Russell enjoying his Happy Meal?

**big brother**: yeah

**big brother**: hes so cute

**big brother**: hes the best younger brother figure i could ask for

**shitty twin**: hm. incest and pedophilia.

**big brother**: stOP i SWEAR

**Jesus Man**: I fail to understand how that still surprises you.

**big brother**: it just does ok

**shitty twin**: lmao yea and ur responses get more predictable each time

**big brother**: i

**big brother**: why do i even try anymore

**shitty twin**: huh. he finally gave up.

**Jesus Man**: It took long enough.

**shitty twin**: says the tsundere

**big brother**: pf

**Jesus Man**: Excuse me?

**Jesus Man**: Cody's the tsundere, not me.

**big brother**: no he's right youre both tsunderes

**-w-**: ( ･ ω ･ )b

**big brother**: see even russell agrees

**Jesus Man**: You're all wrong.

**Kantera**: They're right.

**Jesus Man**:

**shitty twin**: wow

**big brother**: kantera just comes in and fucking murders dogma

**big brother named the group chat stanning kantera time**

**shitty twin**: preach

**big brother**: oh shit russell's done with his happy meal

**big brother**: gotta blast

**big brother**: well be back soon

**Jesus Man**: Drive safe.

**shitty twin**: or dont

**Jesus Man**:

**shitty twin**:

**Jesus Man**:

**shitty twin**:

**Jesus Man**: Why?

**shitty twin**: why not?

**shitty twin**: i know exactly what face ur making right now and its hilarious

**Jesus Man**: Am I that predictable?

**shitty twin**: lol no

**shitty twin**: im just good at observing people

**Jesus Man**: I see.

**Jesus Man**: I'm going to clean the statue of the Goddess. Bye.

**shitty twin**: ouch not even a good-bye

**Jesus Man**: You don't deserve it.

**shitty twin**: touché


	5. Chapter 5

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> big brother: you're so mean
> 
> big brother: i'm gonna hang out with dogma because at least he's nice to me
> 
> big brother: smh

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I had a nightmare so I woke up and wrote this. Why? No idea.

**stanning kantera time**

**shitty twin**: so i was sitting there,

**tsun**: bbq sauce on my titties

**shitty twin**: no

**shitty twin**: so i was sitting there,

**shitty twin**: minding my own business

**shitty twin**: when fucking yumi slams my door open to tell me that one of you idiots fell out of a tree and she wants to know where the doctor is

**shitty twin**: what the actual fuck

**big brother**: haha

**big brother**: hahaha

**tsun**: how did you fall out of a tree

**shitty twin**: simple answer! hes an idiot

**big brother**: ow that hurt

**shitty twin**: good :)

**tsun**: i cannot see

**tsun**: take me out of here

**tsun**: with a gun

**owo**: I don't have a gun but if you want we can go to the Incarner's shop together...?

**tsun**: aktjfnsnng

**tsun**: ye splease

**shitty twin**: gay

**big brother**: cute

**tsun**: no

**tsun**: fuck you

**owo**: o( 〒 ﹏〒 )o

**tsun**: i

**tsun**: sorry

**owo**:  ╰ (*´ ︶ `*) ╯ ♡

**shitty twin**: whipped

**tsun**: so are u stfu

**shitty twin**: maybe so, but im not obvious about it

**shitty twin**: unlike someone

**big brother**: wait informant has a crush??

**shitty twin**: what does it matter to you

**big brother**: holy shit

**big brother**: guys i have blackmail material for the informant now!!!

**shitty twin**: its not blackmail if i dont care

**big brother**:

**tsun**: haha tabasa got played

**big brother**: if you don't care then tell me who it is

**shitty twin**: no

**big brother**: so it DOES bother you!!

**shitty twin**: nah i just dont wanna say who

**tsun**:  👀

**big brother**: whyyy

**big brother**: cody do you know??

**tsun**: lmao yea but why would i tell u

**big brother**: you're so mean

**big brother**: i'm gonna hang out with dogma because at least he's nice to me

**big brother**: smh

**tsun**: so, informant,

**shitty twin**: dont you dare say a word

**shitty twin**: i have so much info on you

**shitty twin**: you will regret the day you were born

**tsun**: relax i just wanted to ask you if gardenia would prefer the pink dress or the blue one

**shitty twin**: go with the blue one

**tsun**: thx

**tsun**: ur not slick though lmao

**shitty twin**: just go on your date already

**tsun**: well fuck you too

**tsun**: bye

**shitty twin**: see you later


	6. Chapter 6

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> big brother: ok i got the goat out of the church
> 
> big brother: wait
> 
> big brother: HEY I DONT LOOK LIKE THE ICE AGE BABY

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> If anyone from Egg Roll sees this, I am so incredibly sorry.

**Jesus Man**: Would someone mind explaining why there is a goat in my church?

**big brother**: oh that's mine

**Jesus Man**: Why is it in my church?

**big brother**: uhh idk hold on

**shitty twin**: oh i let it out

**Jesus Man**: Why on earth would you do that?

**shitty twin**: felt like it lmao

**big brother**: WAIT YOURE THE ONE WHO'S BEEN LETTING MY ANIMALS LOOSE

**shitty twin**: haha yeah

**big brother**: i'm crying why

**big brother**: last week i chased my sheep around for three hours trying to get them back in their pen

**shitty twin**: rip

**Jesus Man**: That is... quite unfortunate. However, I would appreciate it if you could come get your goat. It's dirtying my floors.

**big brother**: ok ok brb

**shitty twin**: ok so now that hes gone

**shitty twin**: tabasa kinda looks like the ice age baby

**tsun**: every time i open this chat

**Jesus Man**: Regretfully, he's not wrong.

**tsun**: KFJSKF WHAT

**shitty twin**: do u not see it

**tsun**: omg i do

**tsun**: this is great

**big brother**: ok i got the goat out of the church

**big brother**: wait

**big brother**: HEY I DONT LOOK LIKE THE ICE AGE BABY

**shitty twin**: you do

**tsun**: why are you lying

**Jesus Man**: I apologise, but you do.

**big brother**: WHAT DID I DO TO DESERVE THIS SLANDER

**shitty twin**: nothing i just thought it was funny

**big brother**: my poor fragile heart...

**big brother**: shattered

**tsun**: oh stop being so dramatic

**shitty twin**: no keep going

**big brother**: i can't believe you guys

**big brother**: @Kantera help

**tsun**: OH MY GOD

**shitty twin**: HAHA HES RUNNING TO THE DOCTOR FOR HELP

**Kantera**: What?

**tsun**: KFBSKFJ

**big brother**: please tell them i don't look like the ice age baby

**Kantera**: What's an ice age baby?

**shitty twin**:

**tsun**: KANTERA YOU DONT KNOW WHAT THE ICE AGE BABY IS??

**shitty twin**: i have an idea

**big brother**: NO DON'T DO IT I KNOW WHAT YOU'RE GONNA DO

**shitty twin** has changed **Kantera**'s name to **boomer**.

**tsun**: I CANT IM GONNA LOSE IT

**big brother**: NO HE DID IT

**Jesus Man**: I cannot believe you.

**shitty twin**: its a perfect name isnt it?

**tsun**: YES I LOVE IT

**big brother**: i'm crying

**boomer**: Tabasa, you do look like the baby from Ice Age.

**big brother**: NO

**big brother**: I'M LEAVING

**tsun**: bye loser

**shitty twin**: lmao have fun

**boomer**: What does my name mean?

**shitty twin**: lmao boomer

**Jesus Man**: It's a term used to refer to old people.

**boomer**: But I'm not old?

**tsun**: u act like it

**shitty twin**: i cant believe you didnt know what the ice age baby was

**tsun**: WAIT

**tsun**: IF TABASA IS THE ICE AGE BABY WHO ARE MANNY AND SID

**shitty twin**: manny is obviously dogma

**Jesus Man**: I am not Manny.

**tsun**: no you are it fits way too well

**shitty twin**: youre sid

**tsun**: NO

**Jesus Man**: No he's right, you are.

**tsun**: i hate it here

**shitty twin**: im diego

**Jesus Man**: You are nowhere near cool enough to be Diego.

**tsun**: lmao yeah u can be the narrator

**shitty twin**: wow

**shitty twin**: i cant believe ive been reduced to the lowly role of narrator

**tsun**: you deserve it

**shitty twin**: fair enough

**shitty twin**: OH OH

**shitty twin**: Cody.

**tsun**: uh oh capitals

**tsun**: what is it

**shitty twin**: will you you me the honour of

**shitty twin**: pulling a prank with me

**tsun**: i thought youd never ask

**Jesus Man**: If you prank me I will tell Yumi.

**tsun**: lets prank yumi

**shitty twin**: great idea

**Jesus Man**: Horrible idea. I'll see you in the afterlife. I need to clean up after this goat.

**shitty twin**: bye bye

**shitty twin**: ok lets go

**tsun**: HELL YEAH PRANK TIME


End file.
